“However, let each one of you love his wife as himself,
and let the wife see that she respects her husband.”
Ephesians 5:33

For those of you who are new here, I write a small blog intended to encourage Christians in their daily walk with Jesus. Most times, I write whatever comes to mind. Friday, I encouraged readers to do something special for Valentine’s Day. There was something I thought would resonate, so I “boosted” it on Facebook. You’ve seen these posts that are labeled, “Sponsored.” They are an inexpensive way to get in front of an audience.

Well, I was surprised at the reaction! It was a one-day boost that reached almost 8,000 people. What surprised me was that there were over 1,800 engagements including over 1,300 “Likes” and nearly 150 “Shares.” For a low-level guy like me, this is quite unusual. Something caught people’s attention.

Most of these engagements were from women ages 55+. I don’t want to read too much into that because these could very well be a significant demographic for Facebook. That I don’t know. What I do know is that more people responded to this boost than any other I have tried.

Do you know what I think it means? I think it means that there is a great longing in our hearts to be shown that we are loved. I asked a bunch of guys I know what they did for their wives. Nothing, really. That’s sad, if you want to know my opinion. Aren’t Christians supposed to be distinguished from the rest of the world by the way we love one another? I’m not seeing it with regards to Valentine’s Day.

My encouragement is primarily directed at men. Our women dearly desire us to shower our love on them. Don’t fall for her telling you that you don’t need to make a special day of it, that she wants you to love her every day and not just on a “special” day. That sounds to me like someone who has drastically lowered her expectations because of a pattern of disappointments. Don’t be that guy!

Guys, I think we need some serious work on this. It’s not a matter of buying a big bouquet of flowers to “make up” for missing Valentine’s Day, her birthday, or your anniversary. Besides, that will probably only create a budget problem for her to deal with. No, this is a spiritual issue that can only come through repentance. And how do we repent? On our knees. You have been given the responsibility to be the spiritual head of your marriage, right? Right?

As for you women, you are not off the hook simply because your husband isn’t showering you with love. Yes, it may be true that women are more willing to be affectionate, yet I think that this affection needs to be fanned into a flame by you, too. Yes, your man should be blowing on your embers, but you should be blowing on his, as well. Remember, Jesus tells us we are to be KNOWN to the world by our love. If that isn’t happening, then women will be held accountable, too.

This will require wholesale changes to the way we look at marriage. Quite frankly, Christian divorce statistics aren’t pretty. We can use some serious work. Is that such a bad thing? Is the place we’re going such drudgery that we don’t want to learn how to shower each other with affection? Do you really want to answer to Jesus about that?

No, we need to look at this completely different. This is something we should be EAGER to do! Satan is the one lying to you about it. HE’S the one who doesn’t want you to freely and abundantly give and receive love! Phooey on his head! He’s spending eternity in the lake of fire. Who cares what HE says!

1 John 5:1-5 Everyone who believes that Jesus is the Christ has been born of God, and everyone who loves the Father loves whoever has been born of him. By this we know that we love the children of God, when we love God and obey his commandments. And his commandments are not burdensome. For this is the love of God, that we keep his commandments. For everyone who has been born of God overcomes the world. And this is the victory that has overcome the world – our faith. Who is it that overcomes the world except the one who believes Jesus is the Son of God?

Maybe you blew Valentine’s Day this year. Read Romans 8:1 and make up for it. Today. Today? Today. Why not?

Father, encourage your church. Amen.

Copyright © 2020 Scott Powers

Photo by Scott Broome on Unsplash