“but I see in my members another law waging war
against the law of my mind and making me captive to
the law of sin that dwells in my members.”
I had a rough weekend in battle. As you know, gluttony is my primary sin. It can be brutal. I’ve had many people visually shocked when I tell them that this is something I struggle with, but they don’t know my past nor do they know the difficulty I currently have. Let’s put it this way, when I know the Holy Spirit is instructing me to walk away from certain things and I deliberately sin anyway, I have a big problem.
If I want to play the comparative game, I might say that my sin isn’t so bad. After all, I’m reasonably fit for a man my age. Furthermore, there are many sins that are far more destructive, like gambling or heroin. Right? Wrong. “One who is dishonest in a very little is also dishonest in much.” (Luke 16:10b) If I get completely tripped up on a single cookie, I have a far bigger problem than simple will power.
Indeed, I do. In fact, I’m helpless at times. This is the same type of helplessness I had with alcohol. The same obsession I had with booze is the same obsession I have with food. Binge eating is no different than binge drinking if one is unable to easily control the behavior.
I think there is good that can come out of a time as this. I realize more and more my utter dependence on Jesus to deliver me from sin. Quitting gambling, for me, is easy because it is not sin for me. A bag of chips, however, can be the beginning of several days of struggle.
The crazy part is that it doesn’t have to be that way. Yes, there are triggers that Satan will use to his advantage against me, but I already know this. I could stop right there and seek God so that my desire/need is fulfilled in him. I also know that at any time throughout a binge, I could stop it by getting on my knees. God is swift to deliver me from sin when I seek him. I know this.
So, why are there times when I don’t? Pride has to figure into this, somehow. Yes, I can and do exercise self-control much of the time, so I feel I can dabble in sinful behavior without getting burned. Wrong. That’s pride, and God hate pride. Why should he allow me to get by with that? He doesn’t.
After that comes the “I don’t care” attitude. As long as I’m sinning, I might as well enjoy it. Yeah, right. This roller coaster ride is heading right to the rock pile of shame at the bottom. It always does. Maybe if I just hide from God, everything will be better. It didn’t work in The Garden, and it’s certainly not going to work for me.
The best thing I can do is seek God, truly confess my sin, and devote myself to his care.
James 4:6-10 But he gives more grace. Therefore it says, “God opposes the proud, but gives grace to the humble.” Submit yourselves therefore to God. Resist the devil and he will flee from you. Draw near to God, and he will draw near to you. Cleanse your hands, you sinners, and purify your hearts, you double-minded. Be wretched and mourn and weep. Let your laughter be turned to mourning and your joy to gloom. Humble yourselves before the Lord and he will exalt you.
1 Peter 5:6-11 Humble yourselves, therefore, under the mighty hand of God so that at the proper time he may exalt you, casting all your anxieties on him, because he cares for you. Be sober-minded; be watchful. Your adversary the devil prowls around like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour. Resist him, firm in your faith, knowing that the same kinds of suffering are being experienced by your brotherhood throughout the world. And after you have suffered a little while, the God of all grace, who has called you to his eternal glory in Christ, will himself restore, confirm, strengthen, and establish you. To him be the dominion forever and ever. Amen.
1 John 1:5-10 This is the message we have heard from him and proclaim to you, that God is light, and in him is no darkness at all. If we say we have fellowship with him while we walk in darkness, we lie and do not practice the truth. But if we walk in the light, as he is in the light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus his Son cleanses us from all sin. If we say we have no sin, we deceive ourselves, and the truth is not in us. If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness. If we say we have not sinned, we make him a liar, and his word is not in us.
Philippians 4:4-9 Rejoice in the Lord always; again I will say, rejoice. Let your reasonableness be known to everyone. The Lord is at hand; do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus. Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things. What you have learned and received and heard and seen in me – practice these things, and the God of peace will be with you.
Father, it looks like I’ve dished myself a big helping of humble pie. Thank you.
Copyright © 2019 Scott Powers